War by Matasha Y. Lee

War by Matasha Y. Lee

Straddling at the fence of life,
One foot in the direction of what I was brought up around,
the other just trying to get away,
And so desperately I stomach to endure,
While, I sit with a notepad and pen, microphone and voice, magazine and thoughts,
Trying to tune out the madness that I have created,
Only wanting to be here,
But not able to afford to stay,
In poverty,
Time stops and that is when I take my chance,
I sing behind close doors,
Write masterpieces on napkins,
Create stellar pieces of art with clothes,
My talents and gifts shine so beautifully,
Then the madness convinces me to enter back in,
I prow myself from my true identity,
To play with life's demands,
Not happy and unsatisfied because Im not making enough to stay in dream land longer.
Why does hunger birth the idea of wealth
And richness is found when time stops,
Not when it clicks;
Not when the jazz player prepares
But when he plays?
Why must my heart feel so rejected
To feed the thoughts at play?
Oh, yum of the earth, with your delight at satisfying men's needs,
I ask you to fulfil my desire
Of ending the war that is within me.
End the screams and tears that press their way out of me that wants me to hear them,
Listen,
Listen,
Listen.

In the corner by Matasha Y. Lee

In the corner by Matasha Y. Lee

Praise, oh, what wonderful praise,
As the room fills up with happiness,
And life is like a kid discovering a balloon,
And realizing the magic of its power of being able to stand and not bend, as the child holds it in his hand.
The laughter, the joy is remarkable and that, my friend, is what they call life.
Oh, and what a beautiful life it is,
Like the butterfly realizing that though it suffered in the space of no return, it now is given the chance to dance all around the world,
No matter where its wings take it,
God said play, for now on, and it did.
It is considered a mythical creature because of its heavenly ties.
But,
What happens when the room grows dark,
And the knock seems to end,
And the joy seems to fade,
And only you and your voice are left
Within the corner.
The corner of the room,
You look at the place where you went insane
And it says, sit and eat with me, my friend,
You cry until rivers flow,
Because you dont want to be there,
You dont want to feel pain and hurt
Creep upon your skin like the legs of a spider
Or the tongue of a snake.
No, no, no,
You cant bare the thought of the recording of past thoughts telling you why you arent where you desire to be.
You try to run from that corner
But it snatches you
And forces you to stay,
Madness trys to sit in,
But your inner child awakes
And in that corner
You begin to write
The beauty of moving forward,
You call upon your imaginery friends to help you to remain positive while pain cradles you to sleep.
And, in that corner, my friend,
You do not go mad,
In that corner,
You learn to dream and even bigger dream.

When you've hurt her by Matasha Y. Lee

When you've hurt her by Matasha Y. Lee

She sits at the edge of the bed
Leaning and deciding, long wait of silence, in a
empty room, worth the trouble of seeing if a lifetime will be spent
Because at the current moment
She can't see to grasp if the next minute will keep her where she is to dance with the idea of being your girl, yet along your future,
But why must she lie to herself
As if you guys made love the night before
When the man that she stares at is unrecognizable,
Yeah, she no longer knows you,
So she doesn't feel that she has been with you,
But more of a violation from a stranger
That she cries to wash off the scent of you
That keeps lingering and lingering.
The scent of you keeps lingering
And the thought of you
Catches her slipping
Until she is no longer on the edge of decisions any longer.
No, my friend.
She is done.
Done like the path of yesterday that can't be walked down,
Down like the tomorrow that will not exist between you too.
Done like the day that has gone by.
Done like the love she planted and let take roof,
Now, she has to unroot from you
And the ideology of carrying your last name.
Because you hurt her and there isn't a repair,
She chose to flatline the thought of ever letting two become one.

Juke Box written by Matasha Y. Lee

Juke Box by Matasha Y. Lee

Let me put this quarter in and see if it works.
(Insert)
The music plays
And people join hands.
They smile with unspeakable joy,
As the shadows of yesterday are washed away
And she no longer carries the burdens of being alone.
Her family sings with her.
They eat and be merry.
The food is served hot
And she can see her family gather around her table to celebrate her success.
She feasts on the idea of the beautiful feeling of being loved.
(Please insert another quarter)
She sways in the music she hears as laughter erupts
Exploding the hearts of those who are merry from the wine
Of socialization as they gather to witness her triumph.
She says
(Please insert another quarter)
Wow, so, this what love feels like.
How beautiful the sound of friends cheering and dancing to the rhythm of the beat,
Swing those hips,
Shake that hair
Stomp that
(Please insert another quarter)
But, I don't have anymore.
Well, I guess it is over for you.
Back to reality you go.

Idol god by Matasha Y. Lee

Idol god by Matasha Lee

I worshipped you and I bowed before you as you fed me my worth, oh, what little worth it was but I ate and called it gratefulness and when you didnt feed I would beat myself with nine tails until you fed me again and it didnt please you.

You became my god and it sparked your eye to praise me when you felt the need and shame me when you felt like it.

You showed you didnt care but you had no need too because I allowed you to treat me whatever way you desired too because I not only honored you but I loved you. I loved how you showed that you cared when really it was torture and never truth. You only showed yourself mighty never showing yourself weak, so in my failure I would think if only I could be like you.

But your mental strong hold is breaking in my darkness you didnt appear. I cried for you and you abandoned me but while you were away and I laid in the pit of my despair, a beautiful presences, so true came to watch over me. He healed me, stitched up the wounds you left open, wiped away every last one of my tears, gave me new air to breath, and a new view.

Over the years I became troubled because you werent there but a new day is here and I am no longer searching for my idol god, for I have no need of you. I see the God within me, standing, so bright. I know who I am and I will no longer worship you.

I just want to feel like a little kid again by Matasha Y. Lee

I just want to feel like a little kid again by Matasha Y. Lee

He stares into my eyes
And the Big Bad Wolf no longer exist,
I do not have to be brave,
I can be released into his arms and feel safe.
He has no intent on hurting me.
He has no intent on making me feel small.
His desire is to embrace every air we breath
And shelter me from the rain
That tends to leave my eyes.
He keeps the world outside
But leaves the sun in my heart.
I'm that little girl again,
I blush when I hear his voice,
My eyes brighten when he holds my hand.
I become shy when he kisses me.
I melt in his arms when he holds me.
The S melts off my chest
And the crown is placed on my head.
We fly away from every moment that tends to become darken
But the storms we do not hide from
No, we embrace as we soar
While the thunder roars
I am his peace and he is mine.
I am no longer empty
Because he is fulfilling
And chances are it isn't over
And it never will be,
We are each other shelters,
A well kept secret,
A eternal love race,
I always feel the chase,
The chase remains,
And I stay,
5,
His words are not a lie,
His trust is a right hand,
Our birth is secured in his land.
He says, my darling, hand over your shield,
I trust to let go.
He smiles,
And then twirls me
And, then, I lay,
To the rhythm of his chest.

This is MY LIFE by Matasha Y. Lee

This is MY LIFE by Matasha Lee

I release myself from the bandwagon of the religious status quo
That has for too long told me to suffer
And lay at the feet of man
Begging for forgiveness to cover up my sin
That allows me too be happy.
I curse my own happiness to be morally right in front of the crowd
While my heart rebels and says I will never join you
While you wear the mask of unhealthiness.
You walk on cracks and break backs because you are too afraid to stand alone.
Why are you afraid to stand alone?
When in darkness you weep for a friend
And in the light you cannot enjoy because you need someone's hand to hold you
But it was only your voice that broke through the cracks of your screams.
Pull yourself together and be proud of your life
And your smile.
How can one judge your happiness when it is you that wears the smile?
How can one condemn you when it is your joy on the line?
Pull yourself together and rise!
You deserve what it is your heart weeps for every day.
You deserve every stitch of garment that brings a sparkle to your eye.
You can't afford not to be happy.
You can't attend enough seminars to wake up to the truth
That THIS IS YOUR LIFE.
THIS IS YOUR LIFE.
THIS IS my life.