Lay me down by Matasha Y. Lee

Lay me down by Matasha Y. Lee

I know they are no longer,
Physically available
To hear the screams of my cry,
To see the broken girl
Who asks a million questions of why.
I know they are no longer here to help me
Hold my head up high,
To strengthen me when I feel weak,
And yet, though I know,
I obtained the knowledge of having the understanding,
I still find myself all alone,
Wanting them to come to answer my question of why,
I want to believe my know,
To accept the silence,
To come to terms with the safety of answering the door
Or not jumping when I hear the phone ring.
Oh, God help me
And lay me down
Till I feel, pain, no more,
Till my tears no longer sneak out my face to bear witness to
The image of me holding on to the string of hope
That one day,
Some day,
The illusion will break free
And I will be the bride
With my mom and dad by my side,
That I am not the woman
Still forming a fetal position
Not capable of standing again,
But I'll be a woman with pain on my back
Able to carry my story into fruition
With their souls intertwined
Into mine.