Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Lay me down by Matasha Y. Lee

Lay me down by Matasha Y. Lee

I know they are no longer,
Physically available
To hear the screams of my cry,
To see the broken girl
Who asks a million questions of why.
I know they are no longer here to help me
Hold my head up high,
To strengthen me when I feel weak,
And yet, though I know,
I obtained the knowledge of having the understanding,
I still find myself all alone,
Wanting them to come to answer my question of why,
I want to believe my know,
To accept the silence,
To come to terms with the safety of answering the door
Or not jumping when I hear the phone ring.
Oh, God help me
And lay me down
Till I feel, pain, no more,
Till my tears no longer sneak out my face to bear witness to
The image of me holding on to the string of hope
That one day,
Some day,
The illusion will break free
And I will be the bride
With my mom and dad by my side,
That I am not the woman
Still forming a fetal position
Not capable of standing again,
But I'll be a woman with pain on my back
Able to carry my story into fruition
With their souls intertwined
Into mine.

Dark Waters by Matasha Y. Lee

Dark Waters by Matasha Y. Lee

Unburied tears
Create a new landscape to be featured by men
They stare at your beauty
Not understanding
How it took form
How it was pressed out
From the bosom
Of the mother's womb
Who birthed this very nation.
She understood her breathtaking image
Would once be glorified
But she also, painfully, knew
That her tears
Will be misunderstood.
The agony
Of knowing
That her children
Will weep to form such
The salt of the earth
Would be their wounds
The blood would form their grass.
The rivers will carry her children.
She knew and the dark waters of bathing
Would form from her.
The dark waters will flow from her.
The dark waters will be everlasting to everlasting,
Their will not be enough droughts to kill her voice
Murmuring through the wind
To call forth the pain
That has birthed her beauties
In dark water.

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Raw Beauty by Matasha Y. Lee

Raw beauty

Authentically seen with flaws
Painted on as a remembrance of the
Journey being embraced.
Each tear forming into the river
That leads you.
You are not like any other.
You can't see yourself at times,
But here you are,
Unapologetically, happy
Embracing each piece of joy given to you.
Telling happiness,
I belong here
Telling pain to rest in the bosom
Of your peace,
Undeniably, embracing each flaw
As if it was the treasure map that guides wise men.
You are the soil of the earth that brings forth fruit into this world.
You are, beyond a shadow of a doubt, important,
This world wouldn't exist without you and it isn't going to exist without you
For it will shape a different way if your soul left the physical realm of its time.
They will notice the emptiness of your presence no longer available.
You can't reason with doubt,
You must destroy it
Like the warrior you are
And embrace the time spent in the dark
For you have shed light
In the wound of the forgotten
But you aren't forgotten.
You are a hidden gem
For a time that will manifest
And your glory will rise out of you
Like the Phoenix taking new form.

In the midst of it all by Matasha Y. Lee

In the midst of it all by Matasha Y. Lee

Let it all go
And free yourself from the agony
Of the unknown
And embrace the bliss available to you
Within this moment.
Quiet your mind
And free yourself from any noise that may damage your heart.
Strive on to see the change that so awaits you as you become
The beauty of each glow of your skin.
Live in hopes of carrying the fighting torch of tomorrow
As you walk in victory,
But remember,
In the midst of it all,
Who you are
And what you have been called to do.
Remember your name
And why you were chosen to lead the light into the darkness.

Not my image

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Web of familiarity by Matasha Y. Lee

Web of familiarity by Matasha Y. Lee

In your heart you tell yourself, Never again.
You attempt to move on from what you once knew
But deep down you hope someone misses you as you take one step forward,
But in reality like the clock keeping up with time,
You realize not a soul stops and wanders.
You realize in frustration that there must be one
So before you move on to new ground
You dare travel back to the old, to the familiar place
Only to witness that life moved on without you
But you see what use to be
In the web of lies you tell yourself
It is better here.
You tend to set up shop back into the comfort of troubles
Only to dance with the illusion of happiness
Until sadness rears its ugly face
And the love ones you saw as healthy and whole
You realize that they are deteriorating.
The friend you once adored develops horns of the enemy
And you begin to realize that you are dancing with death
So before you try to escape back into the serenity of moving on
You are now caught up in the web.
You pray and pray, God rescue me
As He begins to cut the cord.
He sees you broken and troubled
And says have trouble no more
With nothing left you throw up
Your hands and say, Lord, I surrender.
He places you on the right track
And in hopes you finally take the new path.

Intimidation Room by Matasha Y. Lee

Intimidation room by Matasha Y. Lee

Can you stand to be blessed?
Yes, can you stand when everything around you is falling apart
And it is hard to see your vision that you declared over your life.
Will you become small when you enter a room of people who have had a greater experience than you?
Can you walk into a room with billionaires and not shy away?
Are you afraid?
We ask to be bless but are we ready?
Truly ready to handle what is to come.
Can you stand to be blessed alone?
Yes, can you stand to be the only one in the room with wealth
Or do you desire everyone to be happy?
How can you sit in dark rooms crying your eyes out with no comfort for those you are expecting to be there but the minute a wealth opportunity arises you need everyone on board?
Can you stand it?
What is it?
To loose it all and yet still be able to face tomorrow without losing yourself.
Oh, can you stand the negative comments that will be made because some will think that you think you are all that?
Can you stand to be the most hated person alive?
Oh, will you be able to take it when your life is now in front of a crowd and they are chanting destroy her?
You want to be bless,
But are you able to withstand
The Intimidation room,
Or are you ready to leave now?

By Matasha Y. Lee

Emerging Souls by Matasha Y. Lee

Emerging Souls by Matasha Y. Lee

In the wake of the phone ringing and hearts dropping
We listened in on the receiving in of learning that our father didn't make it.
Our hearts erupted with sadness as our minds turned back the hands of time as a fetal position my body was placed.
The screams were tormenting that was released from my lungs.
My voice shattered into pieces
And I wasn't an adult anymore, for a child I became.
I held his picture all night because it was too painful to let go.
I couldn't ease the hurt.
I couldn't wash away the pain.
Only God came to rest with me
While my head I would lay.

But after a while I got back up again
My eyes started to see light.
I held back the words I spoke
And tried to bring some delight
To the chaos I had to experience
And knowing that he will never come back again.
Frequent dream visits is where we meet.
Intuitive smells bring him back to life.

As I prepared my heart to agree with laying my father down in peace
Because even though he has a grave site I still chose to hold on,
Tragedy struck again,
Oh, not again,
No, not again.
I just cried from opening the wound of my father
And accepting what I couldn't change
And now, my mother.
The wound that was opened up to produce me
Now sealed by the hands of a truck.
Like a rag doll with no life tossed to your death.
Dead on arrival,
Your body taken away from us.
We heard your voice before the violin began,
But it was silenced as two sheriffs approached my door.
I knew in my heart, it was you, after a comment on fb
Revealed your car, that plastic came from my house.
It was your brilliant idea to keep you warm from the broken window
That let in too much air.
They asked me if I knew you
But I knew the knock
They didn't have to tell me
It was you
But I became a child again
Wanting my mom.
The rollercoaster ride looked too familiar
My permission wasn't granted for me to get on.
The screams, anger, and pain all came to sit at my feet
While I wanted to cry myself to sleep.
She was gone.
Snatched away from us.
Text messages and phone calls sent the alarming waves across the town that it was you that the news reported on.
It was you in the fatal crash with only your body as a shield.
So, here I am 3 days later adding you to my scorned heart and I am tired. Sickness is apart of my daily routine.
We have to wait again to see your body.
My brother, this time, doesn't have to be strong alone.

Now, both of my parents are in spiritual form
Rid of their earthly clothes
Peeled back from their deformed bodies
As they take on the energy of the earth.
They are powerful enough
To speak through the wind and the trees,
To be as bright as the sun
To emerge with love
That fills my soul
And strategically mends every wound
Their families bare.
Our souls conjoin as twins.
I am now spiritually superhuman because they live inside of me.
I have my mom and dad back again
After the earth ripped them apart.
A duo that only God could have brought together
To Emerge with my Soul.

Pen, Paper and Tears pt. 2 by Matasha Y. Lee

Pen, paper, and tears pt. 2

Wounds can make you put your pen down,
So afraid to let the black ink meet paper again
Not wanting to interrupt the silence that has risen out of a thousand screams.
Because the silence is comforting for a while
For whatever the reason the thunder isn't rolling anymore,
It feels nice to hear the other sounds of the earth for whatever time
We have to feel that feeling
Without having to rest against the waves of life crashing,
Now having to seek peace within our dreams
Because silence now speaks with a mighty roar.

The  storm eventually passes and the pain begins to stop
And the birds begin to chirp as the sun comes out to play.
Life has opened up that beautiful window of hope
And it seems that this time life will flood me with grand opportunities and chances for love.

Touch of the Skin by Matasha Y. Lee

Touch of the skin

I never knew that the skin could be such a delicate source to
Store within the memory bank of the heart for further moments of comfort when one's physical presence is no longer available.

I never knew till I lost you and all I wanted to do was touch you. Feel your face. Let you become back real to me, to awaken the kid in me that sees joy floating like balloons in your eyes. The red is for choosing and in that moment I desire to float to you. I feel that balloon will carry me to where you are, to touch your face, one more time,

and it will not feel lifeless and cold to me. You will be awakened in my sensors again and I will feel my hand rising as my tears fall and my weary heart is replaced with the red balloon as I am sent back home.

Written by: Matasha Lee

Beauty in Ashes Pt. 2 by Matasha Y. Lee

Beauty in Ashes Pt. 2 by Matasha Y. Lee

She slowly learned how she was placed in the wrong soil
Concrete layering underneath.
The thought of growing in ashes with roots in cement
Was laughable,
But since she was birthed in complication
The Glory of her Father laid rest upon her trails and
He favored her even more.
Through out her ups and downs,
Flaws and all
He never left her side.
He sent angels to crack her foundation
And just when she thought she was sinking
She was being rescued.
She no longer wears the residue of the ashes
She is truly transforming.
Stay tuned: Beauty Manifesting '16