Monday, July 27, 2015

is God only given to the poor? By Matasha Lee

Is God only given to the poor?

I always wondered was the poor given God,
And is that all we get.
Are we not allowed anything, but prayer?
Do the rich have to pray or is it a necessity?
Do they only have to shout when they feel like it?
Or, must they worship,
And if not will they go unpunished
With lack and poverty?
Will they be scorned for not paying tithes?
Will there lights suffer, water, car?
Will they be blamed for having babies out of wedlock
Or publically humiliated.
Will they need baptism to cleanse them from the filth of their sin
Or do their money wash it away.
Is our faith the same?
Are we awarded the same opportunities?
When I go to events, the religious ones are always there,
When I lack they are there,
Reminding me to get saved,
Come to
Jesus?
Is two baptisms not enough?
Why do you make the poor feel unworthy of His love?
If my bank account is empty I must be doing something wrong.
How can I tithe with not enough money to put on a card?
With not enough money to start an account with and keep it active?
Why is it the same amount of churches, liquor stores,
And loan locations in the same community,
All trying to give a quick way out,
A little moment of high,
And then you come back down
Only to realize ain't nothing changed.
You still hungry,
You still lonely,
And you still ain't worth shit,
But where is your faith?
Hmm, let me see:
I sowed into you,
But where is the opportunity,
The change,
The chance,
I guess it doesn't come from you.
God will provide for me
Like I provided you.
You will collect while my bellies rumble.
College will be rewarded to your children
Their bright future covered,
But Im still waiting on one day.
This will be my year.
But, I tried, I pushed,
I really thought this was it, but yet I failed,
I cried, now, Im back in line,
Sowing every penny I have just for a ray of hope
That it will be next year.
Yes, next year, will be my chance.
2016, here I come,
Without a change in my hand.
I'm trying,
I am, but what do you do when you knock on the door of opportunity
And it will not answer,
And yet, you are having to change who you are,
Just to receive a buck,
The face in the mirror
You no longer recognize.
Not only am I rewarded God but now, I must serve a devil too.
Blame him for all your problems and misfortunes.
The devil did it.
He isn't allowing my car to start.
The devil did it.
He won't allow that man to love me.
The devil did it.
He peaked into my future and said,
I must stop her because she is going to be someone today.
Never blame those who don't care enough to change to have policies in place to balance out the wealth in the economy.
Never blame the man responsible for not taking care of his responsibilities,
Never blame the friend for choosing to walk away.
NO ONE HAS TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY
Because I must believe that the devil did it,
That God will see me through.
He gave us all the capability to change things.
Why should He get involved?
How about taking responsibility to change the direction of the world
And quit handing the poor God with a pamphlet,
And only one color face on it.

Do you see what I see? By Matasha Lee

Do you see what I see? Pt. 1

Damn, the ignorance,
Can they not see
That police brutality has risen,
Too high of a mountain to climb,
But when I turn on the news
The media spills out lies
Blame it on the community,
The lack of fathers,
It was good they were killed
At least we got another thug off the street.

Let me bring you down,
Where is the shrinking Ray
Because obviously
You don't understand how things work below,
Take a walk with me,
I'll let you know.
This is the corner where they slang drugs,
He is an entrepreneur that has given up
On doing the right thing,
He sells fake rock or the real,
He is only 16,
But he has a family to feed,
See, he's a man, now,
He has to carry the weight
Because his daddy is gone,
Left them all alone,
Or, No longer the beatings
His momma could take.
So, I got us today,
Deep in the night,
He creeps hoping to sell one rock to get something to eat,
I promised my little sister some candy,
Boy, will she be proud of me,
He only wants to make enough money to get out of the game
Before he winds up six deep.

She just moved into town,
No one she knows,
Insecure girl with a frown,
But she just turned legal,
Who do I hang with now,
What type of crowd
Do I dodge,
Hey cutie,
Ooo, that guy thinks I'm cute,
Wow, look at how they look at me,
The guys back home
Thought I was filth
They would run away from me,
Call me names,
In my hometown
I was bullied,
But it seems things have changed here
So many guys like me.
She finds her friends
Who send her into the world of fast life and secrets.
She hangs with her and some more guys,
Doing what teens do,
They not over 21,
Naw, girl,
Okay, good.
She sits with a shy face
As she watches all these guys stare at her flesh.
She finally finds someone she would like to meet,
They exchange smiles and names,
Until jealousy comes in and calls her name,
Psss, come here,
She looks away,
Psss. Come here,
Not today, she finally caves in,
Only to be dragged by screams,
Pulled into a room,
Where he tries to take off her clothes,
She calls her friends name but no one hears her so,
She screams again,
Someone make it stop,
Please don't go within,
Finally, the door opens,
She runs away,
She was almost raped today,
Her friend tells her to keep it down,
You don't want us to get in trouble,
Silence your pain,
Bury it six feet deep,
Till it goes away.

Oh mother,
Oh brother,
What do I do,
There is levels in poor ness
And I'm trying to reach the top you see
But I don't want to be a fraud
Cashing illegal checks
So I can have the latest
Rockin with the best,
A weekend of fun,
Until Monday come
And there is a warrant out for my arrest,
Or let's go in the store,
You watch out,
Why I hit the floor,
Make sure you grab that shirt right there,
Oh, boy, will say, I'm the fliest,
They walk out the store,
All brave,
Till the cops have stopped their tracks
Hope it isn't 50 over.
Oh mother
Oh brother
Or, should I sell my soul,
Wait, how much it's worth.
This guy promised me,
I will be his number one girl,
But I have to sell my body in exchange,
Hell naw, no way,
No, wait, how much did he say?

Momma, don't work yourself to a bone,
Brother, don't kill yourself, so,
Sister, sister, child support will let him know,
Daddy, daddy, I need you so,
The lights are out,
No tv, no hope.
The water is off,
Over a family member's house
I go.
I just want to run and hide from the pain I see,
Make it out, somehow,
Do you see what I see?

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Seasons by Matasha Lee pt. 1

Even the seasons
Are nicer to those
Who have
And
Those who have not!

In the winter
Days consisting of snowboarding
And snow mans
Christmas plans
And Holiday recitals
Smells of baked cookies
And roasted ham
Turkeys within the oven
Lights upon each house
Schools are closed because of the snow storm
Children go out
In their winter
Attire to play

In the winter
Stress is high
Let my faith be strong
Because I can't pay the lights
And that is another night within the cold
But let me be grateful
That we can gather together
On the floor
Or mattresses
With our un matching sheets
And spreads.
Since,
There aren't any lights
I hope my neighbor will be so kind
To let me warm up some food
Or that I will receive a ride to the store
So, we can order off the dollar menu
The younger ones can share.
In the morning,
The little ones cry,
I want to play in the snow
The mother sends her kids out with socks upon their hands,
And blind eyes turned from the holes in the coats
Christmas season strips pride
And humility must sat in
To stand in the long lines
So,
Your kid can receive a Christmas surprise.
It may not be what he or she desires
But that is when you must believe in Santa
The most
Because you are the target this year
People are in the giving cheer
It is the time
When they give
And it makes them feel
Awarding.
You know you will eat
Some type of meal
Because the Christians
Can't wait to deliver you from your sin,
Winter is here again,
And poverty,
I cannot hide.

Mad World By Matasha Lee


Mad World by: Matasha Lee

Conversations under the bridge to get away from the scorcher
Of the sun
That has awakened to kill and destroy those who cannot hide from its light
The one who goes blind by the sight of its shine
He awakes afraid of the sun
As he scavenges to feed his today
And that mother that must walk miles just to feed her children
Is praying to her invisible God that He will cover her
So the sunlight will not burn her so,
As the others hopes he or she will reach water soon
For that light drains all the energy out his or her body
Leaving only a heat stroke or fainting spells in its path.

While,
On the other side of town
The one dressed in black and white
That reached the day before the sun came to shine
That may have walked early enough to not feel it's sting
And watch the wimps form from the scratching of the skin,
Opens blinds
Because it's employer
Likes for the natural light to shine into the room
Over here
The sun is a necessity
They paid
For their house to sit on the hill
So the sun can shine through
So,
They can know
It is morning time
The sun gives out
Just enough light
The person in the black and white
Opens the blinds
Just right
So it beams on their skin
But doesn't damage the eye
It is a sun kissed glow
And the bodies within the bed
Arise with an ahhh,
Claiming it to be
Such a refreshing day

And within that moment
Both the rich and the poor meet
The poor sniffs the purified air
From its blistered hand
Of cleaning all night long
And tries to take in the positivity of awaking to a new day.
The sun is kinder to him or her
At this moment
When it appears
The landscapes
Of crisp blue skies
Pastures of green grass
Trees that stand tall
Flowers swaying in the wind
Water flowing freely upon the river banks,
All seem to smile
When the sun appears.
Tears form in the eyes
Of the employed
Hoping
One day
The sun would be as kind
To them.
That they too will one day
Wake up
Without having to force a smile
And the morning dew is a blessing
And not just a reminder of
It is just another day.

But,
Until then
Because all stories are continually unfolding
We must witness
A mad world.



Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Tug-A-War by Matasha Lee Let the Games begin

Tug-a-War by Matasha Lee

Let the games begin,

Um, I don't think I'm ready to play this game,

Here are the rules,

Are you listening,

Go,

Wait,

Opponent 1:

Everyone deserves a chance.
We should be kind to everyone.
Generosity is key.
Love your neighbor as yourself.
Don't we all deserve a chance on love.
Don't you agree


Okay, Come on, Opponent 1, pull as hard as you can,
Get her to agree with you,

Isn't that what life suppose to be like,
To love and cherish one another,

Opponent 2,

Pull,

No, that isn't what life is all about.
You have to go out there and get yours,
Rather they like it or not.
It is either, you or them?
You have to choose who it will be,
And you know it can't be you.
Treat them cruel that is the only way
They will love you.
People love when you don't give a fuck about them.

STOP,
I don't wanna play any more.
I get it,
Now,
Let me go.
No,
The game isn't over,
You have to choose a side,
But you know what happen last time you were too nice,
You almost lost everything,
And Opponent 2, can be right
(Opponent 2: thank you)
You're welcome, but you don't want to end up alone.

Where is the balance?
I'm tired of being punished for caring,
Then punish for not.
I need help.
Stop pulling me,
I can't be apart of your tug of war.
I can't play these games.

So,
Who do you choose?

I, I,
(Tears)
I can't

Speak up

I said I can't
It hurts so bad
To do right,
To break into your no,
And pull out a yes,
To give your all,
And to the receiver
It isn't good enough.
I don't want that pain back,

But,
I don't want to be bitter and cold,
So, cold,
No one dares approach me,
So cruel that I have no understanding or compassion
For my fellow man!

I don't know!

Okay,
Opponent 1 & 2,
This is your chance,
Pull,
Persuade her.

I SAID I DONT WANT TO PLAY THESE GAMES.
STOP IT!

I choose neither.
I choose to learn a better way,
By emptying and opening myself up
To spiritual guidance
Of gaining a different path.

Love still works! ❤️❤️❤️

The Beauty of my Soul by: Matasha Lee/Beauty Lee

The Beauty of my Soul:

Beep,
Beep,
Beep,

Have you hit something yet?

No, you need to go deeper.

How deep, we are barely seeing daylight,

It is so dark down here.

You have to go deeper.

Beep, beep,

Right there, stop, right there,

They have hit the mark,

I have never desired to reveal these truths,

Ugly truths,

I'm afraid,

Not just afraid

But look around,

Look at the laughs I've missed,

My dreams,

That one,

That one was suppose to be one of the best days of my life,

But I backed out,

Convinced myself to walk away,

I am ashamed,

But since you have dug so far to reach me,

Spent years discovering me,

My masks I can no longer hide.

I have not seen myself in a wedding dress,

Nor have I tried one on,

When I do,

The vision is blurry,

It is so lonely in my heart,

People come to chat,

But they leave,

And my little cottage is empty with memories.

I keep all photos packed away in my heart.

Boxes still fill my home after years.

I'm saddened by the sight,

But I know I'm not at home,

I'm traveling through,

But,

I wish I wasn't so invisible,

I wish you could see all of me,

But treasure must be found,

Not revealed by scavengers

Looking for a days worth of meal.

For, your reward for discovery the deepest, darkest parts of me,

Is nothing,

Unless,

You do something with it,

Until then,

Well,

We will see,

Shall we.

Is there more,

Always,

But are you ready to go where the light refuses to shine,

Where beauty is not seen by the eye,

But stained by the ridicule of past mistakes,

Can you handle that part of me?

Wow,

Isn't she amazing,

I've never seen anything like it

What will you do with her?

I'm going to bring her story to life.

Okay, gather it all up,

Let's go back up,

Beep, beep!

No more masks!

By: Beauty Lee

Sunday, July 5, 2015

This too shall pass by: Matasha Lee

This too shall pass by matasha Lee

Yes, I see the clouds.

Does that mean a storm is coming?

Yes, but what are you afraid of?

I don't know,

It seems as if when the storms of life are raging

That is when I get hit the most,

And that last blow 😔

I don't know if I can take it anymore.

Haven't you survived before?

Yep, but,

Well, you can survive again.

Life didn't knock you out to count you out.

It gave you a gift through pain,

What will you do with the gift that is wrapped up as depression and anxiety.

We only suffer because we have surface vision.

We never allow ourselves to go deeper,

But when life knocks you out and you fall,

You can't help but to catch root of the ground.

You do not get up so fast because you discover the gift within it all,

To discover yourself,

Or awaken to your gifts and talents.

How beautiful are you when you rise above adversary and choose to be the light in a dark place.

That's you, you are a radiant, manifestation of God's awesome power manifested on earth.

How can you not survive?

I guarantee you, you will,

And, you will look back on this, proud that you showed forth His glory,

And didn't let life defeat you. 

Grown Men Do Cry by: Matasha Lee

Grown Men do cry by Matasha Lee

He looked out at his life and he didn't like the vision

He was afraid of the sight.

He saw chaos made by his own hands

And realized he was the monster that prevented himself from enjoying the best of life,

He cried.

His tears distracted him from ever feeling his feet move to that destined place.

Life came to carry him,

But his pride got in the way.

I am a man.

You can't carry me.

You can't lift me up out of this dark place.

You can't tell me everything will be okay.

When I fall I must pick myself up,

You can't give me a helping hand.

Tragedy beat his eyes,

And scars weighed his back like shattered wounds of glass from the reflection of hope he once could see.

Life beat him down,

And he lost his faith

(But truth is, it was planted in the ground)

He discovered days of loneliness that almost made him lose his mind,

But life swept back through again,

And lifted him off the ground,

Like a child kicking and screaming,

He defended his right to do it himself.

But, this time life no longer listened to his whine,

Life placed him at the hands of mercy

And he weeped like a woman travailing.

I, I have no words to say,

I never thought I would see the throne of grace.

Why would you allow me into your presences?

Have you not seen what I have done?

The pain that I have caused.

The tears that I have pushed out of my fellow man.

My hands caused pain,

Why do you touch them so?

My grace is sufficient enough to cover your multitude of sin.

You haven't done so much wrong that I will not love you,

But I thought heaven wasn't meant for a man like me.

I prepared my bed for hell,

In the fiery flames I must lay.

There isn't such a place,

But in your mind did you strike so,

For since you believed in hell,

You created hell for everyone else,

But what good is it for me to give you hell when you die if that is all you have ever experienced.

I will give you heaven on earth.

Help you see the beauty of me.

Go and find your faith that's buried in your pain,

Feel sorry for yourself no more,

For I have provided you with just enough faith to help you see your way out of this dark place, but first, you have to move, you have to confront what you are afraid the most.

When you are ready,

The mirror awaits.