Tuesday, March 31, 2015

India Arie - Beautiful

Poetry night, story telling: There is something amazing about an artist that will invite you on their journey with them when they write, speak, form music. India is that type of artist. In this song, she has a way of inviting you to this beautiful place of serenity, love, and peace. It is so fulfilling to just meditate on the words, and fill the enter into each part of your being and birth something fantastic inside of you. This song is poetry and it tells a story.

Monday, March 30, 2015

Wale- Shades

Poetry night, story telling: Another artist that tells stories when he flows on a mic, Wale. If you listen to this song he is pouring so much out. I know (probably not in front of anyone, but) I bet he cried when he realized that this will be one of the songs that he would have to present to the world to show his vulnerability, insecurity. Like, I wrote in The Voice of a Writer, writers, we have a way of turning our pain into someone else's hope. It was a while back when I heard this song on Pandora, and I knew it was going to be one to share.

Erykah badu -Time's a Wastin

Poetry night, story telling: Watch how the beat comes on first to bring in the words that need to be said. Ms. Erykah Badu had to be featured by herself as a story-teller. She is one of the best that knows her artistry with no compromising and tells her story beautifully. You play her cd and follow her journey.

The Roots - You Got Me ft. Erykah Badu

Poetry night, Story telling, what better way to come out swinging than to start the night of storytelling with The Roots crew and Ms. Erykah Badu. I really love this song and the artistry of the artists in this video.

Poetry night, story telling: Agony by Matasha Lee

Agony ©
Torture is what I feel.
Relief is what I seek.
I have loved you from the moment
I laid eyes on you and haven't stopped since
Your heart I long for
Your love I seek.
I need to know the fight I'm fighting is not alone.
I long for you.
I need your tinder kiss.
I don't want to say, Goodbye.
For I rather say, Hello
Hello, to a better tomorrow
Goodbye to a broken past
Whatever situation we are facing we both should know that it won't last.
I hope we can last forever and our rain could will turn into a rainbow.
In due time we will see the dove that God has sent.
Let's not let torture dominate our fight anymore.
We should let peace reign out the land. 
Written by: Matasha Lee

Poetry night, story telling: The Voice of a Writer by Matasha Lee

The Voice of a Writer©
My pain became my pen and told me to write.
I gained a voice through every ink touching the page.
I knew I existed when a thought came to me and I could speak through an analogy.
I painted master pieces with my words that grabbed hold to my audience's heart.
Every word on the page represented a heart beat of mine-telling the stories of silence.
Through writing I found a voice that millions can speak.
I gave away tears and my fears but when it hit paper, it gave hope.
I am not a writer by choice.
My stories found me, and I gave my pen a voice.
Written by: Matasha Lee
"When I look back over my life and try to write about happiness my pen is silent and voice is choked. My ink pen only produces pain."- Matasha Lee


Poetry night, story telling: Thou shall not steal: The Robbery of my heart by Matasha Lee

Thou shall not steal: The Robbery of my Heart ©
I have robbed myself of this beautiful life by living in a canvas of dreams not painted by my own hands.
I have never danced the night away.
I haven't walked on the beach and seen the smooth sand between my toes.
What have I done?
Why would I commit this crime and why am I just learning that there is more to life than just pain?
I am ready to wear the tears of joy.
I want to know what it feels like to lay under the stars and watch the moon glisten against my skin.
To walk along the beach at night and the stars dance upon the ocean shore.
I want to know what it feels like to live like Adam and Eve before they were kicked out of the garden, and they walked among the midst of God in the very cool of the day.
I know there is more to life than my natural eyes have seen.
I can taste victory like it's the new drink.
I can taste success like it has 100 calories
(Yes, it is good for me)
I will not rest till I see every dream manifested before me and I awake free of charges of robbery.
Written by: Matasha Lee

Poetry night, story telling pt2: Can I find you again by Matasha Lee?

Can I find you again? ©
My heart is calling for you, but I don't know where you are
(Come find me)
How did I loose you with no crowd?
(I'm lost without you)
How did I use to love you, but now I don't know how?
(My heart is breaking)
Will you allow me to see what use to take my breath away and my heart to skip a beat?
(I need you)
Can I caress you again, and know how you feel deep within my soul?
(Come save me)
If we ever meet again will you promise never to let me go?
(Hold me)
I use to be inspired by you
(Free me)
You were my day and night,
(Where are you)
My moon and stars
(I can't see you)
Will you come back to me?
(My love)
It was just a dream.
Written by: Matasha Lee

Poetry Night, Story telling: Beauty in Ashes by Matasha Lee

Beauty in Ashes ©
Thoughts a blazing
Smoke Arising
from the dark painted scars
Tears a flowing
While Beauty forms
from the ashes that are left
No need to wash away
what cannot be seen.
The manifestation of the unknown
Reveals the scars she carry
As she tries to understand
Her birthing place.
How did she get here?
When clearly the ashes isn't soil.
They have no richness to them
to bring about life.
So, how did she form?
How did she come out of darkness into the marvelous light?
With no sense of direction
She walks with the stains of the ashes
trampled under her feet.
Causing her never to flee.
But since she sees no darkness,
She never becomes afraid.
For she knows she cannot grow without the residue of the garden lingering upon her.
She doesn't wash her feet.
She keeps the stain
As a reminder
that her Beauty came from a strange place.
But it brought out so much joy,
which soon silence the pain.
Even though the stain lingers on.
She finds her resting place
in knowing that beauty does form from ashes.
The cheap, unwanted expense of nothing left
When nothings left.
A constant, continual reminder
of what now is gone
And only what can be created
from the darkness that no longer hides.

not my image

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Gladys Knight - I Hope You Dance (Lyrics)

This song is just filled with so many quotes you can write down and apply to yourself.

I hope you dance is touching to me because it basically says, "Never give up." You don't want to look over life, I don't want to look over life, and be full of regret because I didn't try. Each time I go for something, strive for something, I'm just trying, placing one foot in front of the other, and that is really all you can do.

James Brown Get up offa that thing release the pressure

I was watching "Robots," with my babies and this song came on at the end. I don't think I ever really listen to the lyrics, but whoa, I went out Friday and it felt so good to go out dancing and mingling with different people. It felt good to just free it all on the dance floor. I do not drink nor smoke. I don't do anything, so, that isn't why I go out to dance. I dance to stay alive rather I'm in front of people or at home. I need music like the air I breathe. This song just reinerates why music is so powerful. "Get up off that thang, dance to you feel better." Wow, I mean, how can you not be inspired by those words?

Pitbull, Ne-Yo - Time Of Our Lives

Another great song that I immediately loved when I heard it a while back, and I just couldn't stop dancing, not only are the lyrics powerful, but everything about this song and video is awesome. It basically says not to worry about what you can't change, live life while you can, and make sure you are having fun a long the way because hey, if it was possible to change it, I'm sure you would, we would, but if we can't then, "Forget about it." lol

The Attraction

I can happily state that I am attracting better quality men and more people like me, which is awesome because I use to only attract thuggish type guys which then I guess that is what I was into even though I never fit that look, I had a way of blending in, but what was inside of me couldn't be denied because the men that approached me represented what I couldn't hide: heartbreak and undecisiveness. I really was in the middle of life walking a very fine line. I was in school but I lived my life waywardly and not on the surface because I went to college during the day and worked at night, so, it didn't seem as if I had time, but I did, when the urge came on and I would seek to devour what would take the pain away. Having kids always slows you down, but before they entered into my life I was lost to say the least. I was just existing and not really pursuing my dreams. I wanted to be, I guess, normal, in some type of sense. Now, if you knew me that is not what you saw in me, but that is what I kept presenting and since I wasn't sure of myself, my relationship life with people, in general, not just guys, was wishy washy. I didn't really come across people that wanted to be fully committed to me, but the attraction to me, is undeniable. I can attract anyone I desire, but getting them to stay is a totally different story. People change out my life like clothes, and I know why.

In the pursuit of becoming a style icon, you have to really know who you are, and everyone knows the journey doesn't start outside but within. You have to discover what is within you that the world can see and learn from. I had too many mes. I was everywhere, starting over too many times, and when I didn't feel that what I truly desired wasn't working fast enough, I would seek to blend in again, but what style icon, genius, changer can truly blend in with those who speak normal. As soon as I opened my mouth I looked like a fraud. They knew she is not normal, but someone that is ment to shine, but they didn't tell me that. What they attempted to do was to destroy me. They wanted me to be all in with the lifestyle that surrounded me or choose to be different. I couldn't be both, even though my actions took me to some dark places, sad places that I am grateful I am no longer there, so life pushed me way out of my comfort zone and said you have to go back to being your unique, genuine self, and it was a fight. I fought tooth and nail, I couldn't understand why, but eventually, it led me back to writing, to my passions, to what I love, to me.

And, now, the guys I speak too, reflect that. They are becoming my new mirror. I am seeing authenticity in them, and no, I am not prepared to be anyone's lover, partner, my desire is to just keep discovering me, I pray that I grow stronger in loving me and staying the course of truly accepting myself, gifts and talents.

not my image

The Grocery Store

I don't have a car, so, when I go to the grocery store when someone takes me, I always feel rushed. The question the majority of the people that take me ask, "How long are you going to take?" When they don't ask that I still feel it is common courtesy to not to take as long, but it makes me upset that I can't just stop and look around or that I can only go to one grocery store. There is so much in the grocery store and so much to explore. There are different foods to look at, and my desire is to try new things, but some times I just go for the same things because it is easier to reach for them to get the job done, and be out when I said I would. I do not like rushing. I like taking my time, to learn what is out there, look at different recipes on the back of can and boxes. I want to see the displays that they put together to help us try something new. I want to taste test the samples they have prepared for us. I want to go to more than one grocery store so I can explore the differences that they share. I also desire to go into a Whole Foods Market. Each Whole Foods Market I have seen comes with a lifestyle. Why do I say that because each time I see one it is kept in a well-kept neighborhood on the North side of town. There isn't one within reach where I live.

Each month I am subject to enter the grocery store, buy mostly the same foods, and leave. Sometimes, I get to find something new, like macaroons, a dessert that people in the fashion industry loves and it comes in different colors and flavors. I was so excited to see it within my atmosphere because I didn't think it could be. My children and I shared the moment together. My favorite was the raspberry kind, but I haven't went an bought anymore since. They are not the same from the grocery store, but it was exciting to have the experience.

There is so much more that I desire to taste and cook for myself. I just want to stop and buy ingredients and herbs. I want to learn about them. I want to go to the store, on my own, with a recipe and buy what is needed to fix it for that night. I want to know what it feels like to go to the grocery store and buy for a week, not just for how long I think it would take till I received another ride to the grocery store.

I know where there is a will there is a way, so I declare and decree that I will drive to the grocery store and explore each section. I will walk through each aisle and see what each one can offer me. I will look up and see what each sign says to direct me on the journey of discovering new foods. I will read labels and know what I am consuming within my body. I will knock on a watermelon or a hard fruit to discover its freshness. I will take pictures of the things I love and post it on my blog. I will be happy when I leave the store to enter back into my home with the enthusiasm of the exploration of the discovery to the trip to the grocery store. I will be excited to open up each bag to pull out what I am cooking for that day. I will go to take a drive to the Whole Foods Market and enter not intimidated but excited about what I am about to embark on when I enter. I will take pictures of the different colors it has to offer. I will walk down each aisle and embrace each moment I am there. I will pay for my items and put them in a recycled shopping bag because I no longer need plastic. I will drive with gratitude that I finally was able to enter and take a trip there. Whole Foods Market will become my new place to shop. I will share my experience not just through photos, but for someone else to feel what it looks and feels like to explore territory that they couldn't embark on for themselves, and when my vision grows even stronger, I will give a single mother or father the same opportunity like me, that may not have a car, the opportunity to go into the grocery store and pause.

We all should be able to enjoy our moment to the grocery store, to share in its beauty of creation, and to take home the food we have bought, and enter our kitchens to prepare the meal we have spent time on making sure that this is what my body desires to taste and receive today.

My prayer: God bless all those who go without. I pray that they will one day receive not only the opportunity to enter a market but that they will root up the grounds of their labor and be the ones that we all are grateful too for being able to be farmers, and explores of the soils of your earth without someone stealing or taking from them that their labor will be rewarded and fruitful.

not my image

not my image

Ideas Are Scary - GE Commercial

I believe that this is, by far, one of the best inspirational commercials out there. I love how this truth resignates because it basically tells the journey of we have to go through when we have an idea we try to present to the world, sometimes, to ourselves.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

One Republic "I lived"

One of the most powerful songs outright now! I mean, there are songs that have completely took me to the point of tears, this is one of them. One Republic never disappoints. This could have easily been an One Direction song. I just really love the lyrics and the passion behind the singing. I can't wait to share a lady's story, I know! 

Louis Armstrong "What a wonderful world"

Another way to view the world in a healthy, positive way. He teaches us, in this song, to view the world how we desire to see it, not as it really is. Perception is everything! 

adele-Chasing Pavements

I am truly inspired by this song. It is thought provoking like should I get this far and quit? Should I turn around or keep chasing what is in front of me? One of my biggest fears that will forever keep me going is to think that I quitted when I was just about to make it. 

The Bride: backstory

The Back Story of The Bride

When I started to write the book called The Bride about a young lady who forgives her father after their bad argument and split. I had to write about how she overcame it. How she went from losing it all to gaining everything and becoming The Bride she always saw herself being, but I had no relationship with my own dad, as a matter of fact, it was at its worse. My dad and I didn't even talk and we were always at war with one another. We couldn't be in the same room together without wanting to rip each other apart. I was so sick behind it. My dad had a lot of pride so he never let his feelings show. He always made it seem like he would be alright if I was there or not.

Anger was the last word to describe what we put ourselves through. It had been about seven years since my dad divorced my mom, and moved on immediately with his new life. I was sixteen years old. We didn't even have time to process anything or get a word in about what had just happen to our family before we were told to accept a new one. We had been tossed to and fro with my dad and mom's relationship. We had enough. We had gone through so many meetings and split ups, you would think we had gotten use to it, but you can never get use to hearing your parents continually rip your heart out and then repair it whenever they chose too. My brothers and I seen our family falling apart but we couldn't dare accept it, now, we were literally being forced to accept our dad's new life or lose him. Alone the road I understood my father's decision. He wanted to honor and protect his new wife. He had entered a battle zone and took a vowel to keep his family first. He didn't quite understand balancing everything. He just tried to be the best man he could be when it came to loving her. He couldn't see, at the time, how much he was hurting us.

My story and London's with her dad is a split image. I mean a shadow reflection of what we went through. I broke her down, but not as literal as I did. I wanted her to suffer but I told her story in a way that I wanted to see my outcome to be. Her story also reflects what I believe in, that God's children are royalty that we represent being a bride going into newness of accepting ourselves for who we are. We have to learn to love and forgive ourselves before we can ever give that to anyone, especially those who we feel have harmed us.

My dad came to each one of us, including my mom and asked for forgiveness. I had never seen my dad so vulnerable and open. I remember the day he changed because he never made me feel I could lose him again. He opened up his heart and let us in. I was able to text him and call him. I got to find about his dreams, childhood, and where he saw himself being. He became a friend overtime. I needed London and her dad to experience the same. They needed to learn one another and London needed to see her dad as a man, an imperfect human being. London and her dad's relationship serves as a resurrection, new life. Her dad couldn't get anything back that he lost, but he gave his daughter a gift, he gave her the chance to get it right and learn to love herself.

London got it all back. Carl got to walk his daughter down the aisle. He saw her heal and become the beautiful bride, princess he always called her to be. You get to see London go back to having a relationship with God as well. She gained a new Father, and accepted the love from her birth father. When her life changed she was birth new. A new set of footsteps she walked in and danced too.

My dad and I relationship is healing. I text him often and he does the same. We are around each other, not like how I would desire us too, but these steps we take is way better than where we had come from. We truly are learning, still, to love another. Forgiveness is always a growing process but I would never want him to feel guilt or unforgiveness from me. I have completely forgiven him for our past, and learning my dad.

One day, he will walk me down the aisle and hand his daughter over to a man that she will begin to dance with. My dad helps me heal by just being there and I know we will grow even stronger one day.

My three passions

Writing, Music, and Fashion

Probably before I started creating my vision board, I realized that I am limiting my blog. I love writing. It is a strong passion of mine, but a lot of my writing is from my past. I write, every now and then, but not like I did when I was a child, but any time I needed my creativity to flow, writing came out of me, but also fashion and music. I can't get away from the love affair I have with the three, and it started as a kid.

When I was a little girl I fell in love with fashion when my mom bought me a barbie fashion sketcher. The passion just grew over the years, into fashion sketching, styling, modeling, and beyond. I just loved everything about it, but it is something about staying up late at night, sometimes all night long, and figure out which item should go with which. The bag that pops when it is put with the right outfit; deciding which jewelry should go or if any jewelry at all, playing with colors and patterns, and the process seems overwhelming but the finish result is like God took my hand and guided it, but it isn't just fashion that has me up till the crack of dawn, but the sound of beautiful music that rocked me to sleep or had me filled with a morning praise. I remember when I was sad I use to go outside of our home, unto the porch with a blanket and a radio, sit and listen to 107.5 Smooth Jazz, until I fell asleep, outside into the night sky; or, times when I would leave church and have a program with me to play church in my room. Even, today, I still sing every chance I get but especially when I see the inspiring singers on The Voice or American Idol. I just love to sing, to wake up to music, to fall asleep with it by my side.

There isn't a part of me that doesn't eat, breathe, and sleep fashion, music, and writing. I think it comes out more when I'm just free to do it without pressure, without a crowd, but a part of me wants to share this part of me, to give my all to the world in love through those three outlets.

I know my life, vision, story, journey is narrowing down and I'm really being able to see my strong points, where I really shine and prosper.

I know where I belong in this world. I know what stirs my soul, and I know my destiny.

I just have to remain true to myself and creativity, continually be the free-spirited butterfly I know that I am.  

Monday, March 23, 2015

Happy Moments

Hi, I'm back, what a long week of change and excitement, but mainly challenge. I was approached with some rather difficult moments that blossomed to being a blessing in disguised. Everything is taken care of now, well, for the most part. I have to push myself a little harder than before but I know, eventually, it will pay off and things will manifest the way it suppose too. I danced the other day, I just felt like dancing and I danced all around my living room with my hands in the air being silly. While I danced, I laughed as well. It felt so good.

Sunday was an awesome game changer of happiness for me. Saturday night I decided to listen to a podcast of encouraging words like "I am a child of God," and "I am someone worth knowing."
After listening and falling asleep, I woke up to not wanting to get out of the bed, but I did. I watched Joel Osteen and he was speaking about encouraging yourself and speaking positivity over your life. He basically gave a formula to changing your life for the better or at least being happy right where you are until your change comes. He has so much confidence when he speaks that helped me to be confident when I do.

My happiness, happy moments where in seeing my children and I practice continual happiness and love for one another, to see my family laugh together, to see my bills paid after I was sent a disconnect notice. Life just blossomed beautifully.

I had so many moments that is carrying me into this week with joy. There is so much more to come.

Stay tune!

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Stay Tune!

I am going to step away for a while!

Praying that there is enough left on my blog until I return.

You have been invited into my story, my life.

My desire is to share more with you.

Don't you know I need you, yes, you, in order for me to continue.

I have wrote all alone for years in my room, away from people, pouring my heart out.

This blog is a way of saying my desires isn't to be alone, anymore.

My wish is to connect with my readers, hear them say, wow, I know exactly where you are coming from or through your story I learned to overcome.

We are only entering into each other's spaces and sharing time.

It is a treat to read comments from people who were excited after reading some things on my blog.

It is exciting to watch someone stop time to read my words that were written.

You help encourage my smile and help me to desire to write more.

Haven't stayed up all night and written in years, and I have been doing just that lately.

Hopefully, you will continue to share your space with me.

Will return to write again in a week, as we go deeper into: The Bride.

You will get to learn the back story and my inspiration.

There will be more poetry posted and will try to find a new love story to post.

I will post more music and inspiration here as well.

Remember, it only takes one hand to help someone that has fallen..-Matasha Lee

Until we meet again, enjoy: The Beauty of my story!

Follow me on Twitter @thebeautyofmyst
Facebook: The Beauty of my story or Matasha Lee (personal page)

Will become more active on Pinterest with my writing, so, stay tune for that!


"Lord, you are so amazing,"

Another great song that dropped into my spirit, especially the part 
Where it says, "Lord, you are, so amazing!" 
God really is! 

Old Gospel

This song dropped into my spirit, and I just had to share it.

The I's don't have it!

"All in favor say, I,


That statement comes from an agreement place,

But, I's do not always have it.

I didn't realize that I was addressing the world egotistically,

Until my brother made a suggestion to try to limit my I's in my recent post called, "The Edge."

When Rereading my entry without the I's, Tears almost formed.

Now, having to apologize because it isn't all about me, and my stories aren't mine alone:

The realization has come to me to reexamine how my approach may come off to others but more importantly the lasting words that are left from my writings.

It will take time to remove the I's,

But what can be said is, I's don't have it,

Nope, not this time.

The Edge

I sit at the edge of my life.

Neither speaking nor thinking

Just sitting.

Been here several times before,

Sometimes only hanging by a thread,

But still holding on.

Feeling the cold breeze caress my face,

And the wind whistle.

Wasn't surrounded by many trees,

The one tree that stood in my presences, stood strong, unbothered by the wind that passed by.

Staring at the tree and then, asked,

More, I screamed,

"What do you want from me?"

Started to cry,

The wind continued

But the tree never moved.

Wiped the tears from my face,

And just stared at the tree.

No longer speaking nor thinking

Sitting and bowing my hand.

Then, Got up, and walked over to the tree.

The tree stood still,

Not afraid by my approach.

It didn't shiver when I screamed,

It took its stand and faced its storm.

No longer crying but did feel a tear.

I approached the tree and hugged it,

As if I was loving myself

Went back to the edge of my life

And, stood there.

The wind blew

And, I didn't move,

didn't cry,

Standing strong on the edge of life,



(not my image)

The Bride: Meet Carmen

The last character of the book doesn't play that big of a role but her impact is why Parish is such a wonderful man.

Carmen is Parish's mom.

She is a beautiful educated mother who had to raise her son on her own.

Her gift an ability to channel her pain into the arts, gave her the opportunity to do the same for her son.

She never allowed him to feel sorry for himself, and she gave him tools to help him in expressing himself.

She taught him respect and how to love a woman, but more importantly, himself.

She truly accepted her son and since she never gave up on him, she helped him into becoming one of the best fiancés that you will ever read about.

Watch her support and Love blossom while you read: The Bride.

Stay tune!!! 

The Bride: Meet Cheryl and Jeremy

Cheryl is Carl's wife at the beginning of the story.

She is the one that her dad cheated on her mom with.

London sees her as destruction and wants no parts with her.

Cheryl has to go through her own issues with facing her infidelities because she was married, building a new relationship with her son, Jeremy, and having to deal with the fact that her husband is no longer with her.

She has to learn to cope with life again.

She has to go through her husband passing alone.

Her and London's relationship will be repaired and she will form a new connection with someone else.

Stay tune to read who.

Jeremy is London's step-brother, unlike London, he chooses to forgive what happened at an early age and becomes London's replacement.

He bonds with Carl and gives him the son he always wanted but how will him and London relationship end or begin?

Stay tune! 

The Bride: Meet Cheri

Cheri is London's mom.

Her story with London varies on London's attitude.

London really doesn't have a close relationship with Cheri.

She left her mom alone when she went away.

Cheri, like a mother's love, will always wait for London to return,  but she gives her daughter the most room to grow.

Their relationship will rekindle, but you have to stay tune to see how! 

The Bride: Meet Sky Marie

Sky Marie is London's best friend.

She is there when London has one of her biggest break downs.

She sees her friend overwhelmed with grief from trying to move on from her dad's death.

She tries to help her but isn't able too.

Instead of dismissing her friend she lets her go be to herself and waits with open arms for her return.

She gives a part of her to London on her wedding day.

Stay tune to see what she gives! 

Friday, March 13, 2015

Beyoncé - Daddy

One of the first songs I dedicated to my dad. Stay tune for my dad's and I story to unfold.

Fyi: We inspired The Bride. You will see our unforgiveness turn into love and forgiveness

Expressions of Thoughts by Matasha Lee (poetry)

Thinking of the moment I met you,

How your face look like a glow stick that never went out.

Your teeth looked like pearls.

Your eyes like diamonds.

Your skin looked like God took caramel,

And made you specially fine.

You had the perfect figure,

And the perfect soul,

I continued to think,

And remembered how you walked out the door,

And, how I looked,

I had the devil's horns,

Eyes like fire,

Tears like a waterfall,

And a face of a fool,

I continued to think,

And remembered how I shouted and screamed,

Body felt like boiling water,

Skin melting from the fire,

I remembered how you looked,

like someone took your heart,

And tore it in two,

Took your face and created a storm.

I thought on and remembered how,

We turned back to one,

And there was no description for that.

The Bride: Meet Parish

Parish is London's boyfriend that will become her fiancé, and then, her husband.

Parish has to deal with his own troubles, but unlike, London, he has forgiven his past, and has moved on.

Parish didn't grow up with a father, so, he can't fully understand what London is going through, but he still feels that she should find a way to love herself and her dad again.

He is London's better half.

He is the definition of God's love manifested upon the earth.

He loves her unconditionally, even when he has to let her go, in order for her to learn how to love again, and forgive herself.

He waits for her and then arrives ready to share his life and hers together.

He is talented and successful, but his character lights up in how much he loves London, and his level of humility.

He respects her and opens the door for her to love again and explore new horizons that she wasn't previously introduced too.

Stay tune for how he calls his bride to him.

Thursday, March 12, 2015

The Bride: Meet Carl

Carl is London's dad.

He is her world, but Carl is dealing with his own issues, and has another life, somewhere else.

He doesn't discuss his decision with anyone and he can't hide his infidelities for long.

His truth comes forth as a divorce from his wife, London's mother.

His intentions is not to hurt London, but in his actions, he drifts away from her, causing their love to fade.

On London's engagement day, Carl dies.

But, his love and lack of healing on his part causes him to be bound on earth to fix his relationship with his daughter.

He tries to repair their relationship, but runs into the daughter that he abandoned, and for a while has to wonder to and fro because London refuses to give him a chance.

He has to come to terms with what he has done, and eventually, London opens up, and he becomes a gift to help London find love in herself and others.

They repair their relationship. He becomes healed, and his life changes as well.

You have to stay tune to see how his life will transform after his daughter becomes: The Bride.


The Bride: London's Story

The Bride: Meet London
"Meet London, a young lady who danced with her father. Picture it, she tries to step on her daddy’s feet to get as tall as he, so he can guide her while they dance, and boy, do they dance. They dance, spin, and twirl and she sees her first hero, her first love, protection, security, strength. Her daddy is her world, but London and her dad bond breaks. London is forced to find her way out in the world. What will she do? How will she handle it? Will she ever wear the crown of a princess? Will she ever dance with her father again?"
You just read a piece of my book called: The Bride
The main character name is London. 
She is twenty-five years of age. 
She grows up being daddy's little princess.
Her love for her father was truly worth seeing and she loved to dance with him.
She saw her dad as her hero and first love, but their bond breaks when her dad and mom get a divorce. Her dad gets a new family and doesn't have time for London anymore.
London doesn't know how to handle her dad not being around.
She acts out instead of forgiving him.
Her and her dad will part ways in the story and London will find love in Parish.
Their love will blossom into something beautiful, until London dad dies, tragically, and London is faced with having to deal with the guilt of not choosing to rekindle her relationship with her father, on her engagement day.
Yes, you heard right. London had just got engaged that evening when her dad died.
London tries to move on, but is unable too because her dad shows back up to try to mend their broken relationship, but London is not willing.
London's unwillingness to let go of her past, stubbornness, and lack of love, she is unable give to her fiancé, and everyone else in her life, will cause her to lose it all.
London will find her way again, repair her relationship with her father, and become a beautiful bride to her fiancé.
Her story is a true modern fairytale of what it means when you forgive and learn to love again.
Stay Tune!

Love that Stands the Test of Time!

A Story of Love by Amber Root: I am Listening
"My husband and I met when I was in high school.
We were friends for a year and a half before we even started dating.
We dated the whole time I was at University.
 It was hard to be in a long distance relationship.
But we made it work.
He proposed to me a month before i went back for my senior year at UC Berkeley.
 This is how you know a man is capable of listening.
When he proposed it was by giving me a hard cover of the first book we ever talked about on the first day we ever met.
 The proposal was on the back page.
I tell you this: I couldnt even see the ring my eyes were so misty.
The next year, as we planned the wedding, we were tested more times than I can count.
But on a sunny day in May, I walked down the isle.
 It"s funny but the only thing I remember with perfect clarity was my husband's smile as we met at the end of the isle.
It was a smile you could live a lifetime in.
Two kids and ten years later I am still living in that smile."
(Not my image)

Newly Blossomed

The weather has been up and down in Texas.

The season has been long and cold,

But, now things are changing.

As I walked to my favorite diner as the sun crept away,

I got to witness love blossoming.

The trees are changing and the flowers that have been hidden are blooming again.

The tree that I saw that use to be bare on a sidewalk pathway, isn't bare any longer.

The tree now carries a perfume.

A new elegance is upon its branches.

A beautiful sight to see, and I captured it.

It's beauty stopped me in my tracks.

I just had to show the love in the air.

I was looking for a story of love and nature did not disappoint.

Another beautiful sign that God is watching over me.

Check out his beauty:

Newly Blossomed.

The Bride

My book called: The Bride, is coming soon. Stay Tune as I walk you through my character's story: London.

My inspiration for the book came from something my dad and I went through: Unforgiveness.

Watch this beautiful story unfold of a girl who finds her way again while becoming a beautiful bride.
Stay tune!!!

(Not my image)


Indescribable Chris Tomlin

 Another great song to be inspired by and to worship too. God is amazing! This song is like a Thank you to Him!

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Chris Tomlin - I will rise

  Inspirational songs are always needed and very encouraging. Chris Tomlin has so many great songs, and I love his version of Amazing Grace (My chains are gone) and Our God is Greater. My son loves that song. Enjoy!

War Wounds of Beauty by Matasha Lee

War Wounds of Beauty
I carry the scars of the deepest depths of the ocean.
My secret treasure buried within me.
My story unfolds before me,
but behind a mask, I do not hide.
I do not shadow my thoughts.
My mind is visible to see.
Shine the light on my heart beat.
I promise you it won't lie,
It will whisper softly, so listen up carefully.
There is a road that leads to my Pain
But when you get there you will not find any,
only a construction sign that says do not enter!
I think of myself as being under recovery.
My fashion of being is perfect.
I wear my garment knowing that I belong here.
My head is held high.
I do not have a sinking ground.
There is no weird tunnel to get to me.
There is no secret code or pathway.
I carry the words of integrity upon my shoulders.
If you take my shirt off and reveal my back,
you will see the war wounds of beauty,
but know that I am not ashame.
I do not hide my flesh.
I walk around naked.
It is not revealing to me.
I want you to see all of me.
Don't live a lie about me that I did not create!
Don't fool yourself but learn.
I promise I do not have anything to hide.
I've been to war and won.
Warrior princess is one of my names.
Written by: Matasha Lee

What do you do? $20,000 in debt

I saw the bumps upon his skin.

They grew all over his little body.

He cried because they itched,

I saw bumps form in his little hands where mommy couldn't reach them,

I knew my son needed medical attention.

I called my dad and asked him if he would take my son to the ER.

He agreed and took him to Sunnyvale Hospital.

He came back and told me that my son had hand, foot, and mouth disease.

He will have to be out for two weeks.

I needed a second opinion,

but I didn't have time to process what was really happening.

Earlier in time before my son got sick, I was accepted into the University of Texas in Arlington.

I was so excited because I never had step foot on a university campus to attend it.

It would be my first time, and after eight years of pursuing one degree and finally graduating I thought I was on my way to living the life I had always dreamed.

In the back of my mind, I kept hearing what are you going to do with this degree?

I had plans to be in marketing for the mean time, until I could get my Doctorates at UT Austin in Social-Personality Psychology.

I didn't know what I would actually do with it, but I knew I wanted it to reroute back to my dreams, and that I wanted to help people, basically not to go through what I went through that was my focus.

I had told myself as a kid in the fifth grade while arguing with one of my classmates that I was going to be a psychologist. I was determined from that day on.

When I finally took the steps towards my bachelor's degree, I knew my dreams where finally coming true and my hard work had paid off.

I accumalated debt a long the way but hey, I was going to move up in life, I had no need to stress,


Life happened.

I got accepted and couldn't go, but I'm not a quitter, let's reroute, and try a different way to enter. I settled to attend the school I had just graduated.

I reapplied and got rejected, wait, what, I just got accepted and I didn't even go. I made the grades. I had a 4.0 when I left my other school, not my overall gpa, but for that semester, and the one before. It felt good to get all As and see that letter from the Dean, and being on his list. I felt proud, so why was I being rejected?

It was a mix-up. They corrected the mistake, and I couldn't smell the air of Arlington, but I could still attend for summer school, online.

June 2nd, my 27th birthday, I posted a picture for Instagram and Twitter in my UT Arlington shirt that I received on orientation day. And, I said, "I'm starting school on my birthday, yay!"

I made one A and two Bs. I was proud of myself, and couldn't wait for August to come around.

When August came around it got very dark in my life, I didn't see myself attending UT Arlington, but I knew I couldn't quit. I wanted someone to help me. I didn't want to leave my babies behind without a home to attend school (I have felt that pain before, but that is a different story with different title, stay tune for: Invisible Girl's Pain pt. 2) I was going to a university in a city that didn't offer transportation. I didn't have a car. I didn't want my limits to limit me.

I wanted to go to school, but the odds where so heavily against me, and I needed the money from financial aid. I needed to be able to take care of me and my little ones.

I knew going to that school was not a great decision, but all eyes were on me, and I had already made a public announcement.

I was able to attend, yes, to step foot on that glorious campus, to sit in the classrooms that I saw on television, to not just be a minor in the college world but I was, "Moving on up."

I felt proud. I had made it. I defeated the odds, but I borrowed rides to get to school, paying people $30 to $40 in gas to take me an hour away from my home to hear those young professors' voices that looked the same age as me.

Sometimes weeks would pass by before I would be able to sit in the classroom again. My grades suffered poorly. I had all access to everything I needed to succeed, but I couldn't touch it because sometimes I needed to borrow a ride from school as well. My brother would take me and my friend would pick me up from leaving her job.

I hustled until that day my son came home from the emergency room with the second opinion that added more days to him being out.

I had already missed so many days. I couldn't hustle with a sick child at home. He needed his mommy more than I needed to hear the door silently shut went I entered class late, or hear my pandora go off when I entered a room with wifi, while the professor was lecturing.

I knew my school days would be over. I had to make a decision, quit school and save my gpa that I had built, or keep trying when the storm passed.

I knew what I had to do, but I couldn't get myself to do it.

The day had finally come and I could hardly get any words out, I needed to drop out of school.
I felt defeated. I cried, unstoppable, and I asked, "What do I do, now?"

I swimmed in the pool of defeat for so long. I listened to some of the greats but they couldn't help me be lifted from the agony I felt. I couldn't sow enough seeds to bring me a harvest because my well ran dry.

All I saw ahead was gloomy days, and not to mention the embarassment I was about to face from being somebody to back to being nobody.

I watched my relationships fall apart. I heard my stomach rumble again. It had been so long since I heard the sound. I saw my head bow in humility to ask for someone to help me pay my bills.

Time went on, and I was left without an answer, until I felt the nudge to write again.

Finish the book, what book: Invisible Girl's Pain pt. 1.

I procrastinated. Who wants to see me as a writer? Really? I never showed anyone my writings like that before and it was going to leave me exposed.

I had been covered with clothes of this is what I'm doing now, nakedness scared me.

My writings were raw. I didn't know if I would be ready to let anyone see me bare.

I finished the book. I haven't edited yet, but I wrote my life down on paper.

When I finished, I started to complete another book called: The Bride.

The Bride is a book based on my life, but with different characters that have to live out the art of forgiveness and learning to love again.

I completed that book, edited it, and sent it off to a publisher.

I had never knew that I could send my work off for free.

All the information that I ever wanted to know opened up for me, and if I didn't know something, God sent his angels to my rescue and connected me to people that could help me and I could help them.

What do you do?

You live again, You do the faith shuffle.
You pray again. You eat with such richness upon your tongue.
You sing with such heart upon your lips.
You devour life and tuck it in at night.
You believe again.
The clouds of darkness are only shadows of light that lets you sleep again.
There is no clear, cut answer.
I could lose everything tomorrow, but right now, I have everything and everything to gain.