Wednesday, March 25, 2015

The Bride: backstory

The Back Story of The Bride

When I started to write the book called The Bride about a young lady who forgives her father after their bad argument and split. I had to write about how she overcame it. How she went from losing it all to gaining everything and becoming The Bride she always saw herself being, but I had no relationship with my own dad, as a matter of fact, it was at its worse. My dad and I didn't even talk and we were always at war with one another. We couldn't be in the same room together without wanting to rip each other apart. I was so sick behind it. My dad had a lot of pride so he never let his feelings show. He always made it seem like he would be alright if I was there or not.

Anger was the last word to describe what we put ourselves through. It had been about seven years since my dad divorced my mom, and moved on immediately with his new life. I was sixteen years old. We didn't even have time to process anything or get a word in about what had just happen to our family before we were told to accept a new one. We had been tossed to and fro with my dad and mom's relationship. We had enough. We had gone through so many meetings and split ups, you would think we had gotten use to it, but you can never get use to hearing your parents continually rip your heart out and then repair it whenever they chose too. My brothers and I seen our family falling apart but we couldn't dare accept it, now, we were literally being forced to accept our dad's new life or lose him. Alone the road I understood my father's decision. He wanted to honor and protect his new wife. He had entered a battle zone and took a vowel to keep his family first. He didn't quite understand balancing everything. He just tried to be the best man he could be when it came to loving her. He couldn't see, at the time, how much he was hurting us.

My story and London's with her dad is a split image. I mean a shadow reflection of what we went through. I broke her down, but not as literal as I did. I wanted her to suffer but I told her story in a way that I wanted to see my outcome to be. Her story also reflects what I believe in, that God's children are royalty that we represent being a bride going into newness of accepting ourselves for who we are. We have to learn to love and forgive ourselves before we can ever give that to anyone, especially those who we feel have harmed us.

My dad came to each one of us, including my mom and asked for forgiveness. I had never seen my dad so vulnerable and open. I remember the day he changed because he never made me feel I could lose him again. He opened up his heart and let us in. I was able to text him and call him. I got to find about his dreams, childhood, and where he saw himself being. He became a friend overtime. I needed London and her dad to experience the same. They needed to learn one another and London needed to see her dad as a man, an imperfect human being. London and her dad's relationship serves as a resurrection, new life. Her dad couldn't get anything back that he lost, but he gave his daughter a gift, he gave her the chance to get it right and learn to love herself.

London got it all back. Carl got to walk his daughter down the aisle. He saw her heal and become the beautiful bride, princess he always called her to be. You get to see London go back to having a relationship with God as well. She gained a new Father, and accepted the love from her birth father. When her life changed she was birth new. A new set of footsteps she walked in and danced too.

My dad and I relationship is healing. I text him often and he does the same. We are around each other, not like how I would desire us too, but these steps we take is way better than where we had come from. We truly are learning, still, to love another. Forgiveness is always a growing process but I would never want him to feel guilt or unforgiveness from me. I have completely forgiven him for our past, and learning my dad.

One day, he will walk me down the aisle and hand his daughter over to a man that she will begin to dance with. My dad helps me heal by just being there and I know we will grow even stronger one day.

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